>>>Dear Goth Gardener:
>>>What are you doing today?
Going out to deal with 2 of the icky patches in the garden.
>>> Are you fashionably attired?
>>> Can we see?
>>> Hold on, are you wearing that tuxedo shirt that is stained with paint because you wore it to paint the garage last summer and also sweatpants and the 'gardening sneakers'?
Uh...is there a camera somewhere in here?
>>> Just a good guess! But don't you think that your fashion choices pull down the tone of the Goth Garden, not to mention the neighborhood, rather a lot?
Well, what would you wear to clean up the ick?
>>> I see your point. What else are you going to do today?
Probably buy some different cat food to try to stop the random poopster's reign of terror, go to the gym, and start a picture of Nyarlathotep.
>>> Uh, right. Well, gotta go! Ciao!
Pip pip and all that.
Ugh, garden! How do you get all these icky corners?
Number 1: Behind the large wild iris in the slightly swampy spot AND next to it/under the hibiscus...
Icky due to: some kind of spotty stuff on the iris leaves, potential snails/slugs due to the neighbor's over-watering, tons of dropped hibiscus flowers decomposing, and about a billion ash tree seedlings...and this is where years ago the deceased possum was discovered, and in my mind its smelly little grey ghost still haunts the spot, making me reluctant to disturb it
Number 2: Between the statice and the orange tree...
Icky due to: accumulated leaves, wild grass, shadiness and potential spiders/slugs
Number 3: Behind the phormiums in the corner where the ivy comes through/under/over the wall
Icky due to: my enemy the ivy, wild grass, inches of dropped bougainvillea bracts (also thanks to the neighbor, although they are kind of pretty), some kind of mushrooms, and sometimes it's a favorite possum pooping spot...and even if there aren't current possum poops (good luck), there are still the ghosts of possum poops in my memory
Number 4: Behind the larger black knight buddleia...
Icky due to: the fact that to clear it out, you would have to get down on your hands and knees and crawl around among the dropped leaves, spiders, possum poops, mushrooms, and wild grasses...thus this corner has NEVER been cleaned out, sadly